What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Why do guys look up TikTok girls instead of porn? My boyfriend of two years, looks up big boobs on TikTok. He has never once cheated on me, not on social media or IRL. He claims it’s to “get off real quick if I’m not home.”

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

I am married for 3 years. My husband keeps pressing my boobs 40-50 times a day. He never stops though I ask him not to. What I should do to stop it?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

It’s time to let Iron Galaxy make a brand new Tony Hawk game, and wipe the worst one from history - Video Games Chronicle

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

If the Red Pill is supposed to be so bad, why are so many young men buying into it? What about Red Pill makes it appealing to them?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

I committed the unpardonable sin. God immediately punished me so that I can no longer think like before and my brain is as if paralyzed and does not work. I've tried everything (confession, repentance, etc.) nothing helps. Any advice?

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After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Do you think Lady Gaga and Celine Dion have rehearsed separately for their performance at the Olympics opening ceremony?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Has anyone ever made you take off your shirt?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why is it difficult to get a job?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!